Christmas Office Party Etiquette: How Not To Get Drunk To Enough Xerox Your Booty

Christmas Office Party Etiquette:  How Not To Get Drunk To Enough Xerox Your Booty

Ok, ladies.   You know what time of the year it is. It’s time for that Christmas office party.   The one that they’ll be talking about until next year.   Just like the one they talked about from last year…All year long.

I am not going to take up too much of your time with this because I know you know this stuff already.   Somewhere deep inside, you know, but I do want to offer these quick tips that can prevent you from being the “Talk of the Christmas party” for the next year to come.

Certainly, you don’t want to be remembered for some embarassing stunt you pulled, so I recommend the following:

1. Wear something classy: Which kinda makes me laugh because what passes for classy nowadays would make my grandmother gag.   Yet, it should be done.   Don’t arrive with your breasts on display or a slit in your skirt or dress that is thong-high.   I know your breasts are probabaly your best asset (ahem!), but if this is a party that is filled with co-workers, supervisors and bosses, then you need to keep a semi-professional appearance.   It doesn’t mean that you need to wear your work suits or outfits to the party but show that you can have a good time and keep your professional boundaries.   This is the time to bring out the sparkle and glitter.   Go for it.   You can do it without looking trampy or vampy.

2. No Drinking:   If you don’t know your liqour limits or you are driving, don’t do it.   Keep it professional, ladies.   Personally, I would say that you should “NEVER” drink at an office party.   I don’t care what kind of egg nog is served.   Get the “virgin” egg nog.   You know the old saying, “Never let them see you sweat”? I say, “Never let them see you drink!” and of course, “NEVER, EVER let them see you drunk!”.   That’s a great way to lose respect from your peers and possibly your job.   Be responsible for your reputation.   Drink at home.

3. Hold The Gossip:  Don’t do any office party gossiping.  That’s a serious no-no.   So what if “he” brough his “life partner” or “she” came alone because she’s going through a separation from her husband. Again, don’t do it.   Don’t gossip with the co-workers.   Call your best friend or tell your sister, but leave your personal opinion of someone’s life out of your mouth and out of their ears.   You don’t need to start office drama and If you hear someone gossiping or you are talking with a group of co-workers that are the “National Enquirer” of the office, politely excuse yourself from the group.   Be kind enough not to become involved in this mess. As sure as they’ll talk of someone else, you’re next.

4. Flush the potty mouth: Need I say more?

5. Do Not Let It All Hang Out: You have to come back to work next week, right? Don’t do any true confessions like, “I’ve been waiting to tell you that I have a crush on you” or “Your work performance has not been up to par” or “You’re the hot new guy, kiss me under the mistletoe!” Gees, it is a party.   No work references.   No true confessions.   No making out with new staff.   Just eat the gingerbread cookie if you need to do something with your mouth.

I know what you are thinking.   You are thinking that if you followed my tips, you’ll be a stick in the mud or a party pooper.   Not true.   I am not Emily Post, but I do know something about how a lady is supposed to behave.   Remember, there’s no future in being trashy.