Manners and Etiquette are just two of the siblings
of the line philosophy behind civility.
It’s is only with civility, in all of it’s transcending forms, that humanity continues to exist with some sense of higher moral logic, above the nature of mere animals, and not devour and destroy one another, with gain or no gain, like mindless zombies.- Seriously McMillan
What are “manners” ? MANNERS ARE a foundation and philosophy of taught, maintained and practiced civil social behaviors and actions that one uses to show respect for themselves and others on a daily basis.
What is “etiquette”? [The Practice Of] ETIQUETTE IS using learned respectful and traditional social behaviors and actions that are fitting for a social occasions, functions, gatherings and social events in everyday life as well as special occasions that will occur in social settings.
Yes, they are different, but they are two sides to the same coin, so to speak.
Manners are etiquette are learned and taught and practiced social behaviors used as a guideline to separate the “heathen” from the “humane”.
- The hoochie mamas are separated from the classy ladies.
- Unruly children vs. well behaved.
- Brutish men vs. “Gentle” men.
This section will show you some basics of exemplary manners and etiquette.
A blend of old school and updated social rules of dress and social behaviors.
There is no one origin of manners and etiquette. Most of today’s manner and etiquette standards are a blend of European, French, English and Oriental traditions that have been tweaked to become standards in every culture. Yet, every culture has their own set of “manners and etiquette(s)” they practice and some may not mirror our own.
But, this blog will focus on the Western manners and etiquette that we know and love.
Be Courteous, Use Manners
- Someone in your way? No need to be rude. Don’t say, “Get out of the way!” or “Move, Ya’ll!” Instead, say “Excuse me, I am trying to get by.” Once you pass, reply with a “Thank You” to show your appreciation.
- Always say “Please” when you are asking someone to do something for you.
- Always say, “Thank you” when someone does something for you.
- Need someones attention? Always say, “Excuse me” when interrupting someone that is talking or doing other things.
- Never pick your teeth, ears or nose in public.
- Never lose your temper to cause a scene in public for the sole purpose of getting attention.
- Never read while someone is speaking to you and never speak while others are reading.
- Never receive a gift without expressing your gratitude with a verbal “Thank You” or sending a note of thanks.
- When a gift is expected (Birthday, Wedding, etc), if a proper gift for the occasion cannot be found. Give cash or a gift card.
- Spitting is a no-no!
- In good company, never eat as soon as you are seated.
- Never joke or laugh at the expense of others’ feelings.
- Never flick, brush or play in your hair around food in public.
- Do not answer your cell phone when speaking to another. Unless it’s urgent, call them back.
- Do not try to hold conversations with people on the phone and in front of you at the same time.
Etiquette For Ladies:
- A “Lady” will never dress rudely, as to attract undue attention to her body.
- A “Lady” will not dress so improperly, with a skirt so short, that it exposes intimate parts of her body.
- A “Lady” should politely kneel and not bend over, placing her behind in the face of others.
- A “Lady” never swears or is “loudmouthed”!
- A “Lady” is charming, modest and discreet and always shows self-control.
Etiquette (Chivalry) For Men:
- “Ladies First” rules still apply.
- Do help a lady with her coat or sweater, on and off.
- Do pull out a ladies’ chair.
- DO stand and allow the lady to sit in crowded situations.
- Hold the door for ladies. You don’t need to be the doorman for everyone, though. Let the door pass on for the next man to hold. It’s his turn to be chivalrous.
- Most men do not wear day hats, so they have nothing to tip toward a lady, but he can acknowledge her with a friendly nod and smile.
- “May I help you with that…”, is a friendly offer if you notice a lady struggling with something she’s dropped. She may decline, but you did your part.