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Seriously On Manners: Why Are People Rude?

June 5, 2008

Why Are People Rude?It’s everywhere. It’s the stores, the banks…even in your kids’ little league team. Rude People with tons of rude behavior. Some of them breeding the next generations of rude children.

Nasty looks, rolling of eyes, yelling and scoffing, especially for nothing, is rude.

Personally, being rude is not something I practice.  I never learned how to do it effectively. Thank Goodness.

What about you? Rude much? Maybe you don’t know it. I know a lot of people who don’t know that they are rude, until someone calls them out.

I do not pretend to have all the answers, but here are a few universal things I have found that make people rude.

  • Rude People Feel Disconnected From Others: It’s easier for people to speak rude over the phone (Just ask any telemarketer) or on the internet. It’s so easy to send a nasty email. And, that’s because you’re actually disconnected from the other person. What’s missing here are manners and etiquette about how to treat people whether they are in your face or not. Manners and etiquette, people! The golden rule applies. You treat people the way YOU expect treatment and no less than that. You should not get rude over someone taking the last milk at the grocery store or pulling into the closest parking space. I am talking about people getting rude over petty things that won’t really matter in the next hour or the next day. These types of rude people should simply not lose their cool, but they do because they’re disconnected and have no reason, in their mind, to change that feeling.

  • Rude People Want You To Feel Bad Because They Feel Bad: When I was 19, I worked for a T-shirt printing company. We would print all types of T-shirts had picky, rude customers sometimes. “I didn’t want that font printed on my family reunion shirts” after it’s been approved by them or “You’re taking too long to print” even after I explain there’s  a 45 min wait. I learned something about rude people and a wonderful little saying from my boss, Sally. She taught me that “it’s not my fault if the customer is having a bad day.” How true this is. I know you have probably heard it more like this, “Misery loves company.” And, sometimes, it just that simple. Someone is rude with you just because that want you to feel as crappy as they do. It’s not good, I know. This goes right back to being disconnected. There are times when I saw someone come at me with a nasty tone of voice and I kept calm and just joked with them about something small. I made some chit-chat that broke the ice with them. It works sometimes. Sometimes, the rude person just wants to talk or vent. I practice being a person that will listen. You just never know, that rude person may have no one to talk to. So sometimes, you can over look the rudeness and just talk with them.Instead of them making you feel bad, you may leave them feeling as good as you do.

she so ghetto ghetto yosemite samIf “killing them with kindness” doesn’t work, you can curse like “Yosemite Sam” once the rude person is gone.

  • Rude People Appear Stronger If They Are Rude: Bullies. This is the “bully” philosophy. They want to intimidate and scare you into submission somehow to make themselves feel more manly or more like “power girl.” Let’s look at this closely. Bullies like little kids on the inside, fearful, yet they don’t want to show that.  I am serious. Someone must call them out and cut them down.  Sometimes, they can get such “bully pride” that they eventually bring themselves down by doing something stupid. Once again, these people have no connection with others.   I had a major bully problem when I was young. This tall (well, I was short) girl named Tara used to pick on me while riding the school bus. Like I said, I didn’t practice being “rude”, which is what I though defending myself was (I learned better later though), so my dad hired another kid named Buddy to protect me by being my bodyguard on the school bus. Buddy was handsomely paid $5 per week back in the ’70’s. Of course, Tara left me alone, but as I look back on things, I probably could have taken her myself if I had only known how to understand that Tara needed to feel “bigger” and more powerful than she felt. This is another reason some people are bullies and many people are rude.
  • Rude People Build A Bigger Ego and Identify With That: If a person is famous for “being rude”, she so ghetto ghetto simon cowelllike Simon Cowell for example, then it’ll seem pretty lucrative and they will stick with it. It’s just an ego they build. The problem comes when they build that ego and blend it with their personality so it becomes “my toes don’t stink” attitude. That’s when being rude has become like a disease. We all know tons of celebrities that are rude like this in and out of the spotlight. Yeah, they suck. Once again, these people are not connected with others and the only “connection” they have is using this false egotistical, puffed-up sense of self to roam their way their the sludge that must experience their lives. You cannot be happy and be rude at the same time. There’s just no way for mean and nice to work together in the same body. I say stop supporting rude celebrities, especially if they are rude to their fans. Let them know who really pays their bills.

Til Nxt Time!




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