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Help, My Mom Is A Cougar!: 3 Tips On How To Keep Your Relationship With Her

September 23, 2009
Demi & Ashton

Demi & AshtonI have seen the future and it is filled with older women and younger men.

There is such a double standard out there.  Men can get as old and wrinkled as they wanna be and they can get a young women.  NO one says a word.

Now, we have uncovered the opposite and it’s all the talk.  It’s the cougar and she ready to pounce.

I don’t have a problem with that, as long as it’s someone elses’ mom.  But, when it’s my mom…sheesh!

There are those out there, like myself, who are adult children.  We may be blessed enough to still have our moms around and while our moms are letting loose as they get older, we seem to be taking on the more “responsible” and “reserved” role of daughter or son.   We are probably all the things our parents could ever wish for.

We take care of our lives and stay out of trouble.  We got to work and use coupons when we grocery shop, like mom taught us.

We wash behind out ears,  say “please” and “thank you” and feed the dog, like mom taught us.

We have made it this far with our mothers loving discipline and watchful eye.  We may have even had meddling mothers who wanted to “fix” the entire world for us.  Then, something happened.

Whether it was divorce, by death or another reason,  mom is single again.  Single and on the prowl.  But, she’s not looking for they guy with the salt and pepper hair that’s around her age.

She’s looking for that hot, young guy with the six-pack and firm beach body.

What the hell happened to our mom?

Where does that leave you and I?  We are sitting there like sticks-in-the-mud, with this scenario running in our minds.  Mom is lusting after young guys. WTF?

And our nice little responsible ways have put us on guard.

Hey mom, we got to that “we know better now” phase, but mom has reverted back to 15 or 16 yrs-old that we have to keep and eye on, know where she is at all times and makes sure she “Doesn’t do anything I wouldn’t do!”

Here we are.  How do we cope with this “teen-aged” mom of ours?  Her partying, dating and…wait.  Sex.  She might have sex with this guy.

Alright!  I have had it.  Here’s 3 ways I have learned to cope with this “Cougar” mom of mine.

Support You Local Mom:    If she asks for your opinion about her new guy, find something “polite” to say about him.  Yeah, you may not like her new guy, but support her.   

If you notice something about him that seems a little strange or that find awkward about him,  find a time when you are casually talking to bring this up.

Don’t become an overbearing “parent” of a daughter or son.     Be there to listen to her tales about her dates and whatnot about the new boyfriend.  If you can’t handle hearing about her s-e-x life, then kindly let her know that her sex life is TMI for you.  Remember when you used to rant or rave about the hot dates you had?

Remind Her Of  What She Taught You: Yep,  I remember all the nights my mom couldn’t understand why I wanted to stay out all night with my boyfriends even after high school.  Now I understand why!  It’s friggin’ dangerous out there.  Take some time to look back at all the no-no’s you had as a teen.  As pissy as I could get about them, I understand…now.  So, I bring all of it right back up ad throw it right back at my mom.  With love, of course.  And, yes…I support her this way.

  • She may need to be reminded of being careful when she is out on a date.
  • She needs to be reminded to call when she comes home.
  • She needs to be reminded that she needs to keep her cell phone on in case of an emergency.
  • She needs to wear clothing that is sexy, not slutty.
  • Don’t wear too much makeup and look like a clown.

Yes, mom…You taught me well.

Mom, It’s Me Or Him, Not Me And Him!: Don’t make your mother choose bewteen you  or her new guy.  Keep your judgements out of the convo.  Don’t give her hell about this guy.  If she is having a safe time (emotionally and physically) then she is doing fine.    If mom is happy, the world is happy.  She is probably already feeling the pressure of being older and has the desire to have her relationships bewteen you and her new guy to become cohesive.  Your mom may talk a good game, but she probably wants you to accept the new guy without being judged and she wants to love and be close to the both of you.  Mom is a big girl.  If she needs help, she’ll let you know in one way or another.




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