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She Etiquette: How To Be A Charming Modern Virgin At Any Age

October 6, 2009

a.k.a The Virginity Manifesto

Virginity is a gift that everyone has.

Society scoffs.

People may say, “You’re going to have sex anyway…so, you might as well do it this way or that way.”

I say, “No Way!”  Why would you want to listen to them?  It is totally your body, even though you may not quite know what to do with yourself.  You are living as a virgin and your body is yours, all the same.

Virginity Reasons and Rationalizations:

Why are girls (and guys, but I am speaking more for the ladies here)  making the decision to stay a virgin?

One of the most common and popular reasons is religious beliefs.  Some are deeply spirited about their spirituality.  They cherish their faith and have the support of their church.

Some ladies simply have had no intentions of bothering with such mood-driven frivolities.    Some don’t think of sex whether they may have man-hater or cold-shoulder tendencies.  Some women just don’t want to.

Your Virginity Is Valuable, Why Give It To Just Anyone?:

What if you are getting older? Early, mid or even late twenties and the pressure is on move than ever.  Peer and otherwise.

You may be bad-mouthed and belittled for not participating in this generation’s unbridled lust…

You must stand firm in your values. You must not allow anyone to influence you to disavow from your standards for only you will pay the cost of sexual conformity under peer pressure.

Regarding your virginity, I’d encourage you to please no one but yourself.  Give nothing if you want to give nothing.

If you remain modest simply because you hold a standard in the ballpark of, “I will not  have sex until I am married…” or “I will give myself only to the man I love!”, then, so be it.

“I’m Hunting Wabbits Virgins”

And the hunt for game begins.  Like a gentle deer must be aware of the hidden traps of mankind,  so must the virgin be aware of all those who know that she (he) is a booty of treasure (for lack of a better phrase) to be unlocked and looted!

The innocence of a virgin can call up an obsession only rivaled by that of a vampires blood lust  for their next human meal.  A gentleman can smile then turn into a raving beast over a virtuous young virgin.  A lady, calling upon a young virgin man, can be inviting and warm, seductive and finally conquering.  All for the sake of claiming ownership over someone and their first sexual experience.

They will challenge you for your prize.

Just remember the old saying, “All is fair in love and war…”

Virginity & Playing With Matches:

If  you are older an older, and assuming, wiser virgin, keep your radar tuned to the artificial sweet nothings of those who only want to gain access to your pants. With that, be more aware of playing with matches when you strike one and allow it to catch and burn.  Don’t get it?  In simple terms, I mean playing around with a cool- headed person.  Then, striking up their libido with smooches, heavy petting and making out.  You cannot hit the sack with a guy and have completely innocent intentions.  There is no playing or petting around with the commitment to call out the all important, “Stop the presses!” when you feel like you’re crossing the line from precocious  petting to hot and heavy, because you have crossed the line.  Can you come return to the start position without ramifications to your morals?

As a virgin with a personal moral gauge, you must live as if  your love life is on a budget. While the more charitable, ahem, females can play more seductive games of the adult kind, you must be more savvy and sensible when it comes to the time spent playing game of petting with the opposite sex.

Where do you stand?  Are you a die-hard romantic or do you have a healed heart with trophy scar from possible love lost?

It is not a good etiquette practice to lead I guy into believing you will have sex with him.  No matter how much you like him, this behavior is unbecoming of a lady.  This is why getting yourself into heavy make out sessions is not an ideal situation.

Romantic or Methodical?

The Methodical Virgin knows that she is a lamb in a world of wolves.  She may on-guard, but what she is guarding is priceless and invaluable in her eyes and no one will take anything from her until she gives the O.K.  Fun-loving at times, serious at others.

The Romantic Virgin is similar, yet she has a quality of patience about her.  With her romantic notions guiding her. she will indeed, wait until her Mr. Right comes into her life before making any move toward a passionate, sexual relationship.  She may have a shy smile perched on her face when she says, “No!”, but she means,”No!”, or vise-versa.

You may be a bit of both.

  • He drives you home after a wonderful first date.  He is a perfect gentleman when he exits the car, opens your door for you (as he’s done all night) and walks you to your front  door. He may have other things in mind besides saying “goodnight”.

You kiss him sweetly on the cheek and thank him for a great date.

Then he says, “Well, is this a goodnight kiss? Aren’t you going to invite me in?”

The MV replies: “It’s past my bed time and I’ve got work in the morning. I’m going straight to sleep.  Text me to let me know you’ve gotten home safely.”

The RV replies: “I don’t think so, shouldn’t we save some fun for next time?  Nighty-nite.”  (You don’t have to reveal you’re a virgin, unless you feel the need to.)

  • Mr. Smooth and you have been on many dates now.  You have not told him that you are a virgin.  You have been mysterious and exotic, yet even more alluring than ever.  He is curious to know more about you and even more importantly, why you haven’t slept with him yet.

Tonight, you stop at a chic restaurant for dessert and coffee chat after attending and upscale event.

He flirts with his eyes, smiling then looking away.  You know the whole time that he’s holding something back.

MV & RV: I am not going to ask you.

Mr. Smooth: Ask me what?

You already know.  You’ve had that look all evening.  If you want to say something, say it, because I am not going to ask you what it is.

I’ve watched you all evening.  You look stunning.  I think you should be my after dessert…dessert.

What gives you the idea that I want dessert…dessert?

Look at you.  I could just ravish you right now.  You know, it’s rare that I date a woman without spending the night with her.  And, I don’t mean sleeping on her couch.

Pause.  There it is.

Here is the virgin stand-off.

He wants answers.

What will you say?

The MV: I don’t sleep around.  Never have and never will.  I know you’ve figured that out by now.

The RV: The sexual tension between us is almost unbearable, but you ought to know by now that I am not like all the other girls, and I do mean girls, you’ve been with.

Here, you may go into why.  You may feel comfortable enough to let him know you’re a virgin and how you intend to stay one.

After this date, he sounds as if he’s looking to move this relationship forward into uncharted territory.  If this is too much pressure for you, then it’s now time to let him know that you have no intention of sleeping with him.

He will either respect this or reject this.

Either he stays or goes.

If he respects you and what you stand for, he will stay.  If not, was he worth it, anyway?

This post is inspired by the musings of Gael Greene


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