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Wedding Etiquette Chronicles: 14 Ways To Tick-Off Your Wedding Guests

February 27, 2010

Congratulations.  You are getting married.  Well, I say that and hear that a lot in my current manner and etiquette based , classic day job because I work with couples that are just about to get married all the way to ones with 30 yrs (or more) of marriage under their belt.

I meet men and women all the time who are just about to start the journey of their lives together and do you know what I find interesting?  Most of them feel the pressure to make their wedding day the best day ever.  Should I buy this and should I order that…Back and forth.

Wedding planner this and wedding planner that….

Wedding planners are like personal trainers.  They are there to make sure to stay on track.  They also take their knowledge and expertise about their field, tap into their resources and make sure that the end justifies the means along the lines of what you envisioned.

In the case of a wedding and reception, let’s hope that you planned something memorable and enjoyable for your guest.  How can you celebrate your new marriage if your guests are ticked-off?  Here are some tips on avoiding this calamity.

  1. Pre-Marital Waiting: Waiting for the bride.  Here she comes not coming down the aisle.  Wow.  How many times have you been to a wedding with delay after delay?  Unless there is a unaviodable event, get your bridal booty down the aisle.
  2. Boring Wedding:  Some wedding ceremonies are so boring, making it more fun to watch paint dry.  Classic, modern or traditional weddings can be done on a time schedule and they should be.  No guest need fall asleep because the wedding is dull.  Keep it moving.
  3. Reception-By Invite Only: Cheap people do this.  Rude people do this, too, but do everyday couple do it?  I cannot think of a reason why anyone you have invited to witness your nuptials would not be invited to your reception.  Having said that, I do understand that there are some cases where this occurs.  Trust me, it will tick-of your guests, especially if they are not invited.  The best way to handle this is delicately.  I will address it in an upcoming post.  You may just consider avoiding it, for the most part, if you can.
  4. Not Accommodating Out-Of-Towners:  If you have out-of-town guests coming to attend your wedding, who is making sure their accommodations are acceptable?  Don’t let them slip thru the cracks.  If you have delegated that task to someone, follow-up to make sure your visiting guests are comfortable during their stay.
  5. They’re Guests, Not Pests: Don’t get so self absorbed that you forget where you came from.  You know what I mean. Hoity-toity people tend to forget that the wedding day is a day of connection and sharing.  Not just with your new spouse, but also with your guests.  yes, it will be a busy day and everyone will want to spend time with the bride and groom, ao, bride and groom, you know this already.  Take a little time during the reception to make your way around the room and greet your guests.  Let your guests know that you appreciate their attendance with a hug, a handshake
  6. Wedding /Reception Lag:  If your reception is scheduled soon after your wedding, it is not customary for the guests to arrive and begin eating the buffet (or start shoveling the food) before the bride and groom arrive.  Plan to get to the reception site as soon as possible.  Your guests are starving and they want cake.
  7. Uncoordinated Post Ceremony Shuffling:  Where are we going?  Have some one in charge of getting your guests from wedding site to reception site.  Have maps and correct addresses available for the guests to arrive at the reception site without too many wrong turns.  Which way do we go, George?
  8. Not Enough Food At The Reception: OMG!  Wedding guests are hungry.  It’s a simple truth and if you do not plan enough for the amount of guests you will have, I totally feel sorry for you.  You will be innundated with complaints or at least you will hear about them through the grapevine.  One way to tick-off a guest is to starve them.
  9. Kids:  Kids may attend weddings if they are old enough to sit still.  Babies need their parents, so bringing an infant should probably be alright.  Seriously, consider your wedding and reception.  If you don’t think it will be a kid-friendly experience then simply (and politely) state on the invite that kids are not to attend.  I will write a future post about this.
  10. Drunk Reception Guests: If you invite someone to the reception and they have a little too much fun with the open bar, have the person they are with keep a handle on him.  No one wants to pull his finger. 
  11. Bad DJ & Music:  Need I say more? 
  12. Frowning At Wedding Gifts & Presents:  If you don’t like it, fine.  You have to understand that someone thought you needed the gift of got you what you asked for.  Be gracious when accepting the gift and make sure your facial expression reflect this.
  13. Bratty Bride & Groom:  Brides and grooms need not be self-absorbed brats that are not considerate of the people who they invited to their wedding.  Whats the point of watch spoiled brats get married?  Just be on your best behavior.  Don’t start arguments and fights with the guests.  Don’t make derogatory comments to others.  You’re the bride and groom.  Set a graceful example.
  14. Those (Damn) Thank You’s:  You can roll your eyes, right, but if you wanna tick people off totally?  Don’t thank them for coming to your wedding or buying you a wedding gift/present.  Don’t send a special thank you note to those who helped organize your wedding, guests who came from out-of-town, or those who arranged your showers, bachelors or recpetion parties.  You are tacky if you don’t…And, thats being polite.  More about Thank You notes in an upcoming post.



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