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Push Presents: Tacky Or Trendy?

April 24, 2010

Should you demand another $5000-$10,000 engagement ring or a cocktail ring for having a baby?

“I pushed out your baby and now I want diamonds!” 

 

I kept hearing ladies describe certain jewelry to me as a “Push Present”.  It’s been flowing in and out of conversations I have had with women who have an engagement ring times two.  Sometimes, I will talk with ladies who have two engagement rings, yet the ‘other’ ring is on the right hand or on another finger of the left hand.

Recently, Arlene S. told me that she was pregnant with her second child and she was back at the jewelers to look for another “Push Present”.  She already had a 1.5 Ct engagement ring and her 1 Ct. diamond cocktail ‘push present’ from giving birth to her first child.

I get it now, Arlene.

A push present (also known as a “push gift” or “baby bauble”) is a present a new father gives a new mother when she gives birth to their child. In practice the present may be given before or after the birth, or even in the delivery room. The giving of push presents has grown in the United States in recent years. Via

I had to write a post about this because I was so shocked by it.  I had never heard of it.

But, not that it’s all out in the open, what do you think of it?

Is it trendy or tacky? 

What does etiquette suggest?

What does Seriously McMillan say about it?

I say tacky!  What I find tacky about the whole thing is that it seems like such a materialistic view to have during such an important time in the lives of a new mom and dad. 

New parents have so much to think of.  Is the baby healthy?  Will the baby sleep through the night?  There is so much to consider, it seems a bit selfish and greedy to request such a gift.

There is a fine line.  It can be wholesome when it’s really something within the realm of the couple, yet it can be tacky when people start demanding.   It’s one thing to be a diva and another to be a gold digger…and it’s even worse to be so self-absorbed that you are both.

Does that mean I am totally against it?  Nope.  I think it’s an interesting idea and it should be considered a present if a man and woman talk about buying such a gift.  Talk it over.  What does he say?   Are you going to buy your own?  Is he buying a push present or baby bauble other than a charm, pendant or a pair of P.J.’s and herbal body wash? 

I think push gifts or presents, even using the words, puts a demeaning value on becoming a mother.  It belittles pregnancy and the experience of giving birth to your child to nothing more than a womb-for-hire.  Ewww.  Tacky!

 

Read about the difference between a gift and present here!

Another way to look at it seems like payment or reward for having a baby.  I think with your new bundle of joy, one should be overjoyed enough.  Right?

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